Are you in a relationship where you keep questioning how much your man loves you? Do you sometimes you feel like you should just walk away but you can’t because you don’t know how to? You are scared of detachment and the fear of being alone.Do you find yourself having a pit in your stomach when he doesn’t call you on a Friday night till 4 am when you know he is out with his friends?Do you get scared to bring up relationship issues to him?Do you end up feeling it is your fault every time when it is not? Are you sad more than happy? If yes, you are in a relationship where a man doesn’t love you
You might reason, rationalize and convince yourself after each fight that it is normal and happens between every couple but somewhere you know it is not true.
Or are you in a relationship where there are obstacles between you and your partner in having a future together be it family, caste,parents, work, distance etc.You want to make it work and you would do anything for it but you do not see that equal effort from your man.Does he say he loves you but is not sure what the future holds?If yes, you are in a relationship where perhaps he loves you, but just not enough
When a man truly loves, he loves fully.He will fight for you.He will find a reason amongst million excuses for you both to be together.He will have a will to make things work no matter how hard it is.When a man loves you, you will know.If you have to question yourself, probably he may or may not love you but he just doesn’t love you enough.
As much as each relationship is unique and it is hard to generalize there are few things you can note to ask yourself if you are with a man who truly loves you –
10 Signs that tell you, he just doesn’t love you enough:
“When a man loves you, he might have a million reasons to leave but he will find one reason to stay.If he doesn’t, he will have many reasons to stay but he will find one excuse to leave”
1.He doesn’t care enough to make up after a fight:
It is normal to have fights between every couple and even sleep overnight with it so that you both calm down but if you notice your man is sleeping off, switching off his cell phone and ignoring you at the cost of your sleepless restless nights then this is an alarm sign.You might notice yourself calling him, texting him, getting frustrated, weeping just so you can resolve the issue whereas he just ignores you till he is in a mood to talk.You will be breaking your head but he will be going on with his life as if nothing happened.A guy who loves you will equally be restless to make up and be upset to see you upset.He will not ignore you.
“Whenever we would fight, my ex would switch off his cellphone.I used to be so restless unable to sleep and he would just avoid me for few days.Even after few days if he would come about and talk, he would wrap up the fight as if he was doing me a favor.It seemed selfish on his part that he could sleep and I could not.I was the one always running after him to resolve issues.With my next boyfriend who is now my fiancé, it was a mutual interest to solve if we had any issues no matter how hard it was.He made me realize that my ex-was a big mistake”
2.He never says sorry when he messes up:
Everyone makes mistakes and the right thing to do is leave your ego aside and say sorry for the sake of your relationship and for the sake of love.But if he doesn’t care enough he will not say sorry even though it is outright his mistake.He will say things like “this is just how I am “, ” it is not a big deal” or ” don’t make a mountain of a mole hill”.In the end, he will make you feel guilty about making it an issue rather than him feeling apologetic.
3.He doesn’t introduce you or involves you with family and family matters:
Sometimes, men take the time to introduce or involve the girl when it comes to family.Unlike women, unless a man is sure of a girl or sure that he can support her in all ways, he will avoid introducing her to his family to avoid any complications.This does not mean he never will.Even after a year of dating, if a man hardly mention his family or tell them about you, maybe he is not that sure about you.
“My ex’s family knew about me but my ex would never make me meet them or discuss his family history or background with me.He would hate to put our pictures together on social media in case his family members or relatives saw it.I always felt somewhat detached even though we had been dating for over 2 years.It seemed he was keeping his options open.”
4.He talks about women all the time:
He tends to ask about your friends, over -socializes with girls in a club, chats with random girls, sends friend requests to unknown girls, or praises other girls all the time even in front of you.If he has any of these symptoms, he doesn’t love you enough.A man who truly loves you will respect your sentiments and make you feel the most special.
“My ex would keep bragging about how many girls gave him their numbers, bought drinks for him.He would always comment on any friend of mine I would introduce him to if she was hot or not.When I would get angry, he said he was just teasing me.But he did it often.He didn’t realize but it hurt me.I didn’t understand why he needed attention from other girls even though I was in his life.Eventually, he ended up cheating on me and we broke up”
5.He never brings up the topic of future and avoids when you do:
He never discusses what the future could hold for the two of you.If you mention it, he gets annoyed, changes the topic or says we will talk later and never does.If your man does this often, he is not that into you.A man who loves you will make sure you know how serious he is about you.He will assure you even if you do not expect it and not get angry if you bring the topic of future and commitment.
“My boyfriend and I loved each other a lot, at least that is what I thought.We belonged to different communities and he wasn’t sure if his parents would accept me.Hence he never brought up the topic of us getting together.Eventually, I had to tell him that if he could not face his parents I would have to move on.He told me he couldn’t go against his family and I should move on.He was a great guy but I guess I was just not that important for him to fight for me”
6.You feel scared to discuss relationship issues with him:
If you find yourself often stressed out to discuss an issue with him thinking he will get angry or cut you off, maybe he is not someone you should be with.A man who truly loves you will make you feel comfortable enough for you to discuss anything with him no matter how awkward or difficult that conversation might be.
7.He criticizes you and lowers your self-esteem:
If you often find yourself low on self-esteem and confidence around your man, criticisedif you feel you are always trying too hard to please him or if he says things that make you feel bad about yourself then you are not with the right person.
“I was dating a guy once who indirectcriticizedme.If we went out, he would tell me how to behave as if I was uncivilised.If I wore shorts and skirts, he told me I did not look good in western clothes and if he saw other girls on tv or in clubs wearing those clothes, he would tell me how good they looked.It really brought down my self-esteem till I broke up with him.” – Anna, 29
8.He wants to go out alone more than he wants to be with you :
He is not a keeper if he makes plans on his own most of the time and does not involve you.He avoids clubbing with you, does not take time off for you, meets you only when he has not much to do or when it is convenient for him even though you are always going out of your way to meet him and his needs.
“My boyfriend of one year often went out clubbing without me, which was ok as I had my own friends circle to hang out with but he would want to meet me only in the wee morning.It made me feel like a booty call.He also had restrictions on how many times I could stay over at his place.It seemed like he made all the rules and decisions in our relationship.I always felt I had no say.” – Reva, 24
9.You have to keep asking him to meet you :
If you feel you are the only one initiating plans to meet and he seems to not care much if you don’t meet for a long period of time, maybe he doesn’t need you as much as you do.It is ok to be secure but it is not ok if your boyfriend is comfortable even if you both are not talking or meeting for a week.A guy who loves you will want to be in touch with you regularly.
10.He doesn’t care enough to know more about your life and family :
He never enquires about how your work is treating you, how your family is doing.He never insists to know if your family knows about him and what they think about him.He gets impatient when you rant about your day or problems.He prefers talking about himself, his thoughts rather than listening to yours.
“My last boyfriend would hang up whenever I told him about any issue I had.He often complained that I had too many problems in life.It is not like I would complain every day but he just didn’t want to spend time hearing me out.My friends gave me advise and helped me.They did what he should have been doing”
When a man truly loves you, you feel at peace, you will feel normal and happy even with the ups and downs.If he doesn’t, you will constantly find yourself in a battle of wanting to be happy and trying to make him him happy.Love has no excuses and no justifications.If you have to justify it, perhaps you need to walk out and find someone with whom reasons don’t matter.Only love does.Maybe you need to find someone who wants to be with you as much as you do.Find someone with whom you can be yourself, your true self, unconditionally.Find someone who knows how to give as much as you give.Then perhaps you will know what love truly means.
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